Hello readers!
Well, here I am after celebrations with loved ones and family, the holiday mood still lurking somewhere, waiting to take me in yet again. I'm still reeling from a family vacation that fulfilled every bit of promise - there was glorious food, cutesy-poo moments with four generations of family, song and dance, all set in a magical wedding affair. Of course, there were also seemingly life-threatening serial earthquakes, sleep-deprived nights and the great train robbery that took away my husband's prized laptop. (Guess I'm just not train-travel savvy yet.)
It has been a highly educational trip, to say the least. My sister-in-law, Ritu brought her newborn baby home. Abeer, the cutest little marshmallow, all peaches and cream, smiling ear to ear, making garbled noises, and looking eagerly up at the rest of his family. And our hearts melted into our guts. A quick askance look at his newly-turned big sister and I knew that she felt the same way. Her first reaction was, "Awww...Ye kitna cute hota hai, na! (Isn't he a cutie?)" Pretty soon the word 'Awww' lost all its urban charm as Saanvi kept awww-ing at every little thing he did.
Which is kinda great, 'cos I was really beginning to wonder about how Saanvi would be around babies. You see I happen to be in that reproductive stage in life, after passing the milestone of having one baby, where I'm passively fielding questions of, "Sooo, when are you getting Saanvi her baby brother?" (Uhhh, how about the possibility of a sister though?) 'Cos we all know a family can't be complete with just one kid! No, you don't want your only child to grow up into an over-pampered, cranky loner. Over-pampered, sure. But loner? We're still talking about the same girl who initiates conversations with everyone in the supermarket? Including piles of mangoes...
Anyhow, the earthquake struck. Halfway through running down the stairs clutching Saanvi hard while also giving way to other over-reacting mad-dashers, I thought to myself, "See, this is doable. How could I possibly have held another baby in my arms!"
OK, fine. I'll spare you my lame alibis.
Back to Saanvi around Abeer. I watched how her eyes danced with delight while playing with Abeer. I also took note of how insanely quick her smile could do a twistie into a frown when I took Abeer in my lap. She'd be all giddy with pride and excitement when Abeer was curled up in an awkward ball in her miniscule lap. But my lap...Oh that place was reserved for her! Would she even consider sharing it with her baby cousin for a little while? I tried the "he's smaller than you hence you be the bigger person" card on her (which is inevitably pulled out on every older sibling). It backfired. I saw her shrinking rapidly into a tiny baby, wanting to sleep on my lap if I helped Ritu put Abeer to sleep, wanting to drink milk out of a bottle if I happen to be bringing Abeer's bottle, holding really high standards of sharing for Abeer if I asked her to share something of hers with him.
So far, Sumit and I have been venturing, with the help of my elders, on a somewhat-manageable turf of raising Saanvi. Our days usually comprise of more "I've got it all figured out" situations than "WTF girl" whammies. However, watching Saanvi become the big sister all of a sudden was frazzling, even though we had moments when we went hysterical with laughter. Abeer to her, was her baby, her playmate, her rival, her agony aunt, all at the same time. Agony aunt, you'd wonder? One time, I yelled at Saanvi, for reasons I don't remember, and the drama queen that she is, she broke into tears. She started sobbing uncontrollably, burying her head into Abeer's t-shirt, even though he was clearly minding his own business. And baby Abeer tried his best to be a gentleman about it even if he wasn't experienced enough to deal with female hormones yet. But then Saanvi decided to take it up a notch and shrieked into his ears, which was way too much for him to take. And then he started wailing out loud. We laughed about it for days. But on a serious note, we had to guide Saanvi about how to curb her emotions and be tender to her baby brother so that she wouldn't harm him in any way. On the other hand, baby Abeer's eyes lit up every time Saanvi was around him. He followed her, watching in astonishment, probably thinking, "Oh boy, when do I get to be that kind of tornado?" Saanvi took the cue and they were like two peas in a pod, laying together with Saanvi dominating the conversations, drinking their morning beverage in PJs, taking turns for their massage ritual, which happens to be naughty naughty Abeer's favorite part of the day. His parents joke that it's not a good sign at all - they'll have to keep a tab on his Bangkok trips in the future.
In the days to come, it kinda felt like Ritu and I were playing 'house with babies', attending to kids and their every fathomable earthly need. For my part, I was a bit lost. Every morning, I got this feeling that a changeling came and replaced my girl at night, for everyday she invented something new. And one fine day, she decided to join us in our mommy's circle. As a fellow mommy. I guess at some point, she must've felt a bit weary of hearing she's the older sibling. Or maybe she just wanted to be a mommy figure to Abeer real bad. So she came up with an ingenious baby doll, whom she nurtured the same way that Ritu took care of Abeer.
But here's the catch. Since her baby came to the world unannounced, we sure as hell didn't have any clothes and other necessities for him/her. And who should come to the rescue? Yes, baby Abeer! Now Peaches turned to Abeer for his prized blue blankie, for his sleeping bag, for his tiny socks and clothes, reinforcing the sharing lesson ten times harder than we did to her. She wrapped her baby nicely and held him/her whenever anyone reached out for Abeer. We thought it was pretty cute and entertaining. But then it sort of became annoying when she insisted on carrying her baby everywhere we went. Naturally, we as moms don't want extra things to lug around with us, even if it's make-believe children. And it did get to a point of being maniacal when she insisted that her baby wear Abeer's brand new party dress, one that he was to wear for his welcome party. It was a bittersweet sadness to see her go on with that purpose and intensity. I tried my usual first through fifth gears of yelling to curb her obsession. But well, the doll travelled back to Mumbai with us. In fact, it was the reason we had double security checks. Of course now, with the absence of Abeer, her baby's also taken a backseat to other interesting pursuits and emerges only at bed time and meal hours. Only if life could imitate children's games. Just sometimes :).
I really want to able to chronicle every little memory that I have of Saanvi and Abeer together as siblings. It's just the most rewarding, the most uplifting thing to see your child take the spot of an older kid. To see her be wise and teach her skills to a younger sibling who may not be able to mimic much but coos in approval. To watch her shrink back into a baby again if she feels hurt or insecure about her place. There's no doubt in my mind that the way Saanvi can be goofy and playful and tender around another sibling will never quite be the same as the way she's with us or any of her friends, for that matter.
And then I ask myself that dreaded question. Are we ready to have another baby? Am I ready for the good and bad pregnancy hormones, the whole nine yards to labor (remind me to tell you my labor story), only to be followed by the new-mom gig all over again? I'm still not sure to be honest.
But one thing gives me confidence.
That my little baby is capable of much more than I give her credit for. Sumit and I may at some point in life feel equipped, mentally and financially, to make space for another small addition to our cramped little condo.
She'll be ready and waiting. And it'll be the beginning of a sweet, ever-lasting friendship.
Well, here I am after celebrations with loved ones and family, the holiday mood still lurking somewhere, waiting to take me in yet again. I'm still reeling from a family vacation that fulfilled every bit of promise - there was glorious food, cutesy-poo moments with four generations of family, song and dance, all set in a magical wedding affair. Of course, there were also seemingly life-threatening serial earthquakes, sleep-deprived nights and the great train robbery that took away my husband's prized laptop. (Guess I'm just not train-travel savvy yet.)
It has been a highly educational trip, to say the least. My sister-in-law, Ritu brought her newborn baby home. Abeer, the cutest little marshmallow, all peaches and cream, smiling ear to ear, making garbled noises, and looking eagerly up at the rest of his family. And our hearts melted into our guts. A quick askance look at his newly-turned big sister and I knew that she felt the same way. Her first reaction was, "Awww...Ye kitna cute hota hai, na! (Isn't he a cutie?)" Pretty soon the word 'Awww' lost all its urban charm as Saanvi kept awww-ing at every little thing he did.
 |
| Abeer With His Lovely Mom |
Anyhow, the earthquake struck. Halfway through running down the stairs clutching Saanvi hard while also giving way to other over-reacting mad-dashers, I thought to myself, "See, this is doable. How could I possibly have held another baby in my arms!"
OK, fine. I'll spare you my lame alibis.
Back to Saanvi around Abeer. I watched how her eyes danced with delight while playing with Abeer. I also took note of how insanely quick her smile could do a twistie into a frown when I took Abeer in my lap. She'd be all giddy with pride and excitement when Abeer was curled up in an awkward ball in her miniscule lap. But my lap...Oh that place was reserved for her! Would she even consider sharing it with her baby cousin for a little while? I tried the "he's smaller than you hence you be the bigger person" card on her (which is inevitably pulled out on every older sibling). It backfired. I saw her shrinking rapidly into a tiny baby, wanting to sleep on my lap if I helped Ritu put Abeer to sleep, wanting to drink milk out of a bottle if I happen to be bringing Abeer's bottle, holding really high standards of sharing for Abeer if I asked her to share something of hers with him.
So far, Sumit and I have been venturing, with the help of my elders, on a somewhat-manageable turf of raising Saanvi. Our days usually comprise of more "I've got it all figured out" situations than "WTF girl" whammies. However, watching Saanvi become the big sister all of a sudden was frazzling, even though we had moments when we went hysterical with laughter. Abeer to her, was her baby, her playmate, her rival, her agony aunt, all at the same time. Agony aunt, you'd wonder? One time, I yelled at Saanvi, for reasons I don't remember, and the drama queen that she is, she broke into tears. She started sobbing uncontrollably, burying her head into Abeer's t-shirt, even though he was clearly minding his own business. And baby Abeer tried his best to be a gentleman about it even if he wasn't experienced enough to deal with female hormones yet. But then Saanvi decided to take it up a notch and shrieked into his ears, which was way too much for him to take. And then he started wailing out loud. We laughed about it for days. But on a serious note, we had to guide Saanvi about how to curb her emotions and be tender to her baby brother so that she wouldn't harm him in any way. On the other hand, baby Abeer's eyes lit up every time Saanvi was around him. He followed her, watching in astonishment, probably thinking, "Oh boy, when do I get to be that kind of tornado?" Saanvi took the cue and they were like two peas in a pod, laying together with Saanvi dominating the conversations, drinking their morning beverage in PJs, taking turns for their massage ritual, which happens to be naughty naughty Abeer's favorite part of the day. His parents joke that it's not a good sign at all - they'll have to keep a tab on his Bangkok trips in the future.
In the days to come, it kinda felt like Ritu and I were playing 'house with babies', attending to kids and their every fathomable earthly need. For my part, I was a bit lost. Every morning, I got this feeling that a changeling came and replaced my girl at night, for everyday she invented something new. And one fine day, she decided to join us in our mommy's circle. As a fellow mommy. I guess at some point, she must've felt a bit weary of hearing she's the older sibling. Or maybe she just wanted to be a mommy figure to Abeer real bad. So she came up with an ingenious baby doll, whom she nurtured the same way that Ritu took care of Abeer.
 |
| Saanvi - The Broody Mommy |
I really want to able to chronicle every little memory that I have of Saanvi and Abeer together as siblings. It's just the most rewarding, the most uplifting thing to see your child take the spot of an older kid. To see her be wise and teach her skills to a younger sibling who may not be able to mimic much but coos in approval. To watch her shrink back into a baby again if she feels hurt or insecure about her place. There's no doubt in my mind that the way Saanvi can be goofy and playful and tender around another sibling will never quite be the same as the way she's with us or any of her friends, for that matter.
 |
| Saanvi and Abeer - With Their Sweet Grandpa |
But one thing gives me confidence.
That my little baby is capable of much more than I give her credit for. Sumit and I may at some point in life feel equipped, mentally and financially, to make space for another small addition to our cramped little condo.
 |
| Abeer - Her New BFF |
All the best....I'm sure the parents would be happier to see tou veer in the direction of becoming mommy once over again. ..cute pics
ReplyDeleteThank you so much dear! Well, one's already a handful right now :P.
ReplyDelete