Hello readers!
And a happy 2016 to you! Well, I meant to ring in the year with beautiful memories of 2015 earlier but then as usual, time has been scarce. Scarcer, especially when it's spent arguing (or to put it constructively, discussing) with your three-year old about trivial things like how bright red mittens cannot be worn to school, no matter how well it brings out your pink sweatshirt. (Considering also that it's January in Mumbai and it's still 30 degrees C outside.)
2015 has been a long and fabulous year. It was the year when my brother got married to his best friend. It was the year when I thought we were going to be struck down by an earthquake. It was the year when we travelled to new places, of which Singapore took all my wide-eyed, mouth-aghast, shopaholic fancies in just about three hours. It was the year I stopped staring down at my belly flab and decided it's had a solid three years run and it's time to bid it farewell, hence yoga. Of course, the year-end pigging out just fuelled to its unwelcome tenant streak and I find that it's right where I left it. It was also the year when I finished my first short story (however lame it reads now) and started a book. Remind me to get back to writing it.
Above all, it was the year Saanvi grew from a cutesy, chirpy kid to a chatty, sassy, a-liitle-too-earnest-for-her-own-good drama queen. And it's a pity that I haven't quite captured that side of her on my blog, when in truth, I have new material everyday! Let's not forget that memory is far from being my strong point and the fleeting nature of it demands that I pen it down right now before new memories erase the old ones.
So here's 2015 in quirky conversations (mostly fledgling memories that left an impression long enough to be scribbled on a notepad or on Facebook) with my spiritual guru meets queen of sass. They left me stumped, in splits or just frozen for an inordinate amount of time in a curious puppy expression, wondering did she really just say those things or is it my mommy, wannabe writer's imagination gone too far?
2015 in Memorably Cute and Awkward Conversations With My 3-Year Old Princess
1. Early in the year, I had started understanding the gravity of potty training for Saanvi, when it had finally dawned on me about how simple life can be after your kid discovers the magic toilet bowl. So I took her off diapers. Here's what happened the first day I took her to the playground sans a diaper.
Unfriendly Guy in the Elevator [clearly not engaging in or inviting conversation in any way]: Hmmph.
Saanvi: Helloo Uncle.
Guy in Elevator (Don't know what it is about elevators that makes people put on their best poker face): [Half Smiles]
Saanvi: Aaj maine diaper nahi pehena hai. (I'm not wearing diapers today.)
Guy in Elevator [doubletakes]: Huh?
Saanvi [louder]: Aaj maine diaper nahi pehena hai.
Hiding my face.
2. Just about the time she had started developing an unnatural fondness to Halloween:
Aunty in the playground [going round asking every kid]: Sweetie, what do YOU want to be when you grow up?
Saanvi: Umm, can I be a vampire?
Aunty [looking at me with burning judgement]: Haha...How did she come up with that?
Me [scarlet]: Yea, whatever happened to doctors and pilots right?
Saanvi: I can be a zombie. I like zombies.
3. You know how, when you follow fashion blogs, you want to embrace one of those new fashion fads that could potentially look outrageous to everybody else? No? K, just me then.
Me [excited to wear my new fringed jacket but appraising my profile with a raised eyebrow to the mirror]: How does this look?
Sumit [trying to say something diplomatic and husbandy]: Umm...isn't it a little too much?
Me [launching into an irrational argument]: But I never get to wear these kind of clothes!
Saanvi [entering the room]: Oh mommy, you're a jellyfish.. I want to be a jellyfish too.
OK, problem solved.
4. Like all moms and dads, we personally screened all the cartoon videos that Saanvi gets to watch and among them, Charlie and Lola was my favourite. Well, until one day:
Me [with a plate of food of Saanvi's regular go-tos: roti, dal, subzi, shrikhand]: Saanvi, food's ready.
Saanvi [pointing to carrots in the veggies]: What's this?
Me: Naatak nahi karo. It's a carrot.
Saanvi: I will NEVER, not ever eat carrots
Me [Aila, ab ye kya naya but too tired to argue]: OK, I'll give you only aloo.
Saanvi: I will NEVER, not ever eat aloo. No potaytoes. (In a brit accent.)
And that went on for a while...
Me [cursing under my breath]: Lolaaaa, teri....
5. Saanvi started getting oh-so-neighborly and visiting the neighbors a little too much for our liking. So she insisted one day to spend the day there after having broken the curfew at their place the previous day and I was about to lose it and yell at her in my standard high-pitched voice, "You're not going anywhere. You can cry all you want." But Sumit, the rational, marshmallows-interior dad steps in and takes me to the side and says, "Let me deal with it."
Saanvi: But I want to go to Saloni di's house.
Sumit: Look Saanvi, you've been going there everyday and it's not nice. Let Saloni di call you. She'll be busy.
Saanvi: But I will go only for five minutes.
Me: [uggh...this could go on. Let me take a shower]
After fifteen minutes:
Saanvi [crying]: But I want to go to Saloni di's house. I will not disturb her.
Sumit: But we just went over this. You have to let her call you.
Me: [ OK, I'll go cook lunch till then.]
After half an hour:
Saanvi: I want to go to the temple with Saloni di's dad.
Sumit: Saanvi, you're a good girl. OK here are your options. You play with your toys now and then in the evening, I'll take you to the temple. Or you can go to her house and stay there.
Saanvi: But I want to go to Saloni di's house.
Hell hath no fury like a three-year old with a stubborn streak.
6. As I've already mentioned and I need that comforting reaffirmation of being on the divine path of spirituality and fitness, I started doing yoga! While trying a really complicated yoga pose (for me anyway) and looking more like I got electrocuted on the wall as opposed to the half-moon I was going for, I hear Saanvi giggle in the background.
Me: Oh ya! Why don't you also try it?
Saanvi [rolling her eyes]: Main to already hundred times school mein spiderman ban chuki hun. Translation: I've already posed as spiderman like a hundred times at school.
Hmm, not as funny in English.
7. We discovered the joy of bedtime reading and it doesn't matter how long the story is, Saanvi is a rapt listener. We curl up in bed together and switch from classic tales with a twist like Rapunzel and her Ever So Shiny Locks to Enid Blyton's Bedtime Stories to pictorial books, the works you know. But just the other day, Saanvi discovered a running theme. And a deeply unsettling observation.
Me [reciting Rapunzel]: "She was jealous of all their friends. For the first time in her life, Rapunzel felt lonely."
Saanvi [interrupting]: Why is she lonely?
Me: Well, she doesn't have any friends.
Saanvi: Like Anna? (Anna is this sad character in an Enid Blyton story who wants her doll to come to life cos she doesn't have any siblings or friends.)
Me [anticipating her next words to be the likes of wanting a baby brother or sister]: Yea sort of like Anna.
Saanvi [looking dejected]: Everybody is lonely sometimes.
That got me misty-eyed and sniffly.
8. In that little space between being a mom and being a girl craving alone time with soul sisters, you've gotta make amends and take your kids along to your girl dates. And pray that your kid is well-behaved.
Me: Rant, rant, gossip, rant rant...
Friend: I hear ya sister. Gossip, rant, rant...
Saanvi [taking her scheme of entertainment to the next table with a group of young girls all belonging to a dance troop]: Hello!
After a much-needed one hour of ranting and gossiping and keeping a vigilant watch on Saanvi, who only came to our table to eat bites of cake in between and went back:
Me [ hollering to Saanvi]: Will you get back here now sweetie? It's time to go.
Saanvi [to the group of dancers] [animated laughter in the background]: OK, I'm going now. I'll meet you here Wednesday.
Did she fix a date with her new pals? And that's how instant and obvious making friends is for her. Lesson Learnt: Adults are just a bunch of picky prudes.
9. How to give compliments in disguise:
Saanvi [applying talc all over her nana's Santa Claus chest and grunting]: Uggh...oh. This is hard work.
Nana: Very good Saanvi. Thank you!
Saanvi: Nana, jab mai baby thi, to meri bhi tummy golu thi. [Translation: I had a round belly like yours when I was a baby.]
10. Getting to school late:
Teacher [to Saanvi, but obviously directing her cross remark at me]: And you're late again Saanvi!
Saanvi [dramatically swaying her hands in despair]: But Papa is always getting up late.
Teacher: Errr...mummy drops you to school, right?
Saanvi [missing the connection or strategically showing her dad in a worse light]: But papa is always getting up late. He sleeps late. He gets up late. He's a bad boy!
Nice save, Saanvi!
11. On getting money from her grandpa, Saanvi comes rushing to me:
Saanvi: Mummy, mummy!
Me: OK, what did you spill now?
Saanvi [handing me the money]: Yeh lo, meri shaadi ke liye. (Here, save it for my wedding.)
Only if we had some tragic background from Les Miserables to match.
12. Me [to Saanvi]: God, why are you growing so quickly? Please. Stay a baby.
Saanvi [diverting all her attention to my new-found inches from my brand new high-heels] But my head is not growing like your head, mommy. Why doesn't it grow?
Umm. Of all the things that are growing, definitely not my head, hon.
Some of these conversations really had me wondering about the darndest things kids can say. Well, here's to 2016 and all the funny, quizzical moments with my girl I can only anticipate for in mixed feelings of awe and dread.
Would love to hear from you about your funny conversations with your little ones. Do share in your comments below.
And a happy 2016 to you! Well, I meant to ring in the year with beautiful memories of 2015 earlier but then as usual, time has been scarce. Scarcer, especially when it's spent arguing (or to put it constructively, discussing) with your three-year old about trivial things like how bright red mittens cannot be worn to school, no matter how well it brings out your pink sweatshirt. (Considering also that it's January in Mumbai and it's still 30 degrees C outside.)
2015 has been a long and fabulous year. It was the year when my brother got married to his best friend. It was the year when I thought we were going to be struck down by an earthquake. It was the year when we travelled to new places, of which Singapore took all my wide-eyed, mouth-aghast, shopaholic fancies in just about three hours. It was the year I stopped staring down at my belly flab and decided it's had a solid three years run and it's time to bid it farewell, hence yoga. Of course, the year-end pigging out just fuelled to its unwelcome tenant streak and I find that it's right where I left it. It was also the year when I finished my first short story (however lame it reads now) and started a book. Remind me to get back to writing it.
Above all, it was the year Saanvi grew from a cutesy, chirpy kid to a chatty, sassy, a-liitle-too-earnest-for-her-own-good drama queen. And it's a pity that I haven't quite captured that side of her on my blog, when in truth, I have new material everyday! Let's not forget that memory is far from being my strong point and the fleeting nature of it demands that I pen it down right now before new memories erase the old ones.
So here's 2015 in quirky conversations (mostly fledgling memories that left an impression long enough to be scribbled on a notepad or on Facebook) with my spiritual guru meets queen of sass. They left me stumped, in splits or just frozen for an inordinate amount of time in a curious puppy expression, wondering did she really just say those things or is it my mommy, wannabe writer's imagination gone too far?
2015 in Memorably Cute and Awkward Conversations With My 3-Year Old Princess
1. Early in the year, I had started understanding the gravity of potty training for Saanvi, when it had finally dawned on me about how simple life can be after your kid discovers the magic toilet bowl. So I took her off diapers. Here's what happened the first day I took her to the playground sans a diaper.
Unfriendly Guy in the Elevator [clearly not engaging in or inviting conversation in any way]: Hmmph.
Saanvi: Helloo Uncle.
Guy in Elevator (Don't know what it is about elevators that makes people put on their best poker face): [Half Smiles]
Saanvi: Aaj maine diaper nahi pehena hai. (I'm not wearing diapers today.)
Guy in Elevator [doubletakes]: Huh?
Saanvi [louder]: Aaj maine diaper nahi pehena hai.
Hiding my face.
2. Just about the time she had started developing an unnatural fondness to Halloween:
Aunty in the playground [going round asking every kid]: Sweetie, what do YOU want to be when you grow up?
Saanvi: Umm, can I be a vampire?
Aunty [looking at me with burning judgement]: Haha...How did she come up with that?
Me [scarlet]: Yea, whatever happened to doctors and pilots right?
Saanvi: I can be a zombie. I like zombies.
3. You know how, when you follow fashion blogs, you want to embrace one of those new fashion fads that could potentially look outrageous to everybody else? No? K, just me then.
Me [excited to wear my new fringed jacket but appraising my profile with a raised eyebrow to the mirror]: How does this look?
Sumit [trying to say something diplomatic and husbandy]: Umm...isn't it a little too much?
Me [launching into an irrational argument]: But I never get to wear these kind of clothes!
Saanvi [entering the room]: Oh mommy, you're a jellyfish.. I want to be a jellyfish too.
OK, problem solved.
 |
| Move Over Duck Face |
Me [with a plate of food of Saanvi's regular go-tos: roti, dal, subzi, shrikhand]: Saanvi, food's ready.
Saanvi [pointing to carrots in the veggies]: What's this?
Me: Naatak nahi karo. It's a carrot.
Saanvi: I will NEVER, not ever eat carrots
Me [Aila, ab ye kya naya but too tired to argue]: OK, I'll give you only aloo.
Saanvi: I will NEVER, not ever eat aloo. No potaytoes. (In a brit accent.)
And that went on for a while...
Me [cursing under my breath]: Lolaaaa, teri....
5. Saanvi started getting oh-so-neighborly and visiting the neighbors a little too much for our liking. So she insisted one day to spend the day there after having broken the curfew at their place the previous day and I was about to lose it and yell at her in my standard high-pitched voice, "You're not going anywhere. You can cry all you want." But Sumit, the rational, marshmallows-interior dad steps in and takes me to the side and says, "Let me deal with it."
Saanvi: But I want to go to Saloni di's house.
Sumit: Look Saanvi, you've been going there everyday and it's not nice. Let Saloni di call you. She'll be busy.
Saanvi: But I will go only for five minutes.
Me: [uggh...this could go on. Let me take a shower]
After fifteen minutes:
Saanvi [crying]: But I want to go to Saloni di's house. I will not disturb her.
Sumit: But we just went over this. You have to let her call you.
Me: [ OK, I'll go cook lunch till then.]
After half an hour:
Saanvi: I want to go to the temple with Saloni di's dad.
Sumit: Saanvi, you're a good girl. OK here are your options. You play with your toys now and then in the evening, I'll take you to the temple. Or you can go to her house and stay there.
Saanvi: But I want to go to Saloni di's house.
Hell hath no fury like a three-year old with a stubborn streak.
 |
| Welcome to my show! |
Me: Oh ya! Why don't you also try it?
Saanvi [rolling her eyes]: Main to already hundred times school mein spiderman ban chuki hun. Translation: I've already posed as spiderman like a hundred times at school.
Hmm, not as funny in English.
7. We discovered the joy of bedtime reading and it doesn't matter how long the story is, Saanvi is a rapt listener. We curl up in bed together and switch from classic tales with a twist like Rapunzel and her Ever So Shiny Locks to Enid Blyton's Bedtime Stories to pictorial books, the works you know. But just the other day, Saanvi discovered a running theme. And a deeply unsettling observation.
Me [reciting Rapunzel]: "She was jealous of all their friends. For the first time in her life, Rapunzel felt lonely."
Saanvi [interrupting]: Why is she lonely?
Me: Well, she doesn't have any friends.
Saanvi: Like Anna? (Anna is this sad character in an Enid Blyton story who wants her doll to come to life cos she doesn't have any siblings or friends.)
Me [anticipating her next words to be the likes of wanting a baby brother or sister]: Yea sort of like Anna.
Saanvi [looking dejected]: Everybody is lonely sometimes.
That got me misty-eyed and sniffly.
 |
| What We Do Best |
Me: Rant, rant, gossip, rant rant...
Friend: I hear ya sister. Gossip, rant, rant...
Saanvi [taking her scheme of entertainment to the next table with a group of young girls all belonging to a dance troop]: Hello!
After a much-needed one hour of ranting and gossiping and keeping a vigilant watch on Saanvi, who only came to our table to eat bites of cake in between and went back:
Me [ hollering to Saanvi]: Will you get back here now sweetie? It's time to go.
Saanvi [to the group of dancers] [animated laughter in the background]: OK, I'm going now. I'll meet you here Wednesday.
Did she fix a date with her new pals? And that's how instant and obvious making friends is for her. Lesson Learnt: Adults are just a bunch of picky prudes.
9. How to give compliments in disguise:
Saanvi [applying talc all over her nana's Santa Claus chest and grunting]: Uggh...oh. This is hard work.
Nana: Very good Saanvi. Thank you!
Saanvi: Nana, jab mai baby thi, to meri bhi tummy golu thi. [Translation: I had a round belly like yours when I was a baby.]
10. Getting to school late:
Teacher [to Saanvi, but obviously directing her cross remark at me]: And you're late again Saanvi!
Saanvi [dramatically swaying her hands in despair]: But Papa is always getting up late.
Teacher: Errr...mummy drops you to school, right?
Saanvi [missing the connection or strategically showing her dad in a worse light]: But papa is always getting up late. He sleeps late. He gets up late. He's a bad boy!
Nice save, Saanvi!
11. On getting money from her grandpa, Saanvi comes rushing to me:
Saanvi: Mummy, mummy!
Me: OK, what did you spill now?
Saanvi [handing me the money]: Yeh lo, meri shaadi ke liye. (Here, save it for my wedding.)
Only if we had some tragic background from Les Miserables to match.
12. Me [to Saanvi]: God, why are you growing so quickly? Please. Stay a baby.
Saanvi [diverting all her attention to my new-found inches from my brand new high-heels] But my head is not growing like your head, mommy. Why doesn't it grow?
Umm. Of all the things that are growing, definitely not my head, hon.
 |
| Radha In All Her Antics |
Would love to hear from you about your funny conversations with your little ones. Do share in your comments below.
Awww.. Your 3 year old is such a precious one. Thank you for sharing your memories and conversations with her.
ReplyDeletexoxo - Style.. A Pastiche - styleapastiche.com - Visit me some time
Thank you dear for stopping by and I'm glad you enjoyed reading this! I'll be sure to visit your page :).
DeleteHey.. I could simply visualize each and every episode described in this blog.. Sanvi is the cutest ever kid.. God bless..
ReplyDeleteI could simply visualize each & every episode mentioned above.. Sanvi is the cutest kid ever.. God bless..
ReplyDeleteHahaha... Thank you Dr. Shraddha. Coming to meet you soon ☺.
DeleteHahaha... Thank you Dr. Shraddha. Coming to meet you soon ☺.
Delete