2015 in Memorably Cute Conversations With My Three-Year Old

Hello readers!
And a happy 2016 to you! Well, I meant to ring in the year with beautiful memories of 2015 earlier but then as usual, time has been scarce. Scarcer, especially when it's spent arguing (or to put it constructively, discussing) with your three-year old about trivial things like how bright red mittens cannot be worn to school, no matter how well it brings out your pink sweatshirt. (Considering also that it's January in Mumbai and it's still 30 degrees C outside.)

2015 has been a long and fabulous year. It was the year when my brother got married to his best friend. It was the year when I thought we were going to be struck down by an earthquake. It was the year when we travelled to new places, of which Singapore took all my wide-eyed, mouth-aghast, shopaholic fancies in just about three hours. It was the year I stopped staring down at my belly flab and decided it's had a solid three years run and it's time to bid it farewell, hence yoga. Of course, the year-end pigging out just fuelled to its unwelcome tenant streak and I find that it's right where I left it. It was also the year when I finished my first short story (however lame it reads now) and started a book. Remind me to get back to writing it.

Above all, it was the year Saanvi grew from a cutesy, chirpy kid to a chatty, sassy, a-liitle-too-earnest-for-her-own-good drama queen. And it's a pity that I haven't quite captured that side of her on my blog, when in truth, I have new material everyday! Let's not forget that memory is far from being my strong point and the fleeting nature of it demands that I pen it down right now before new memories erase the old ones.

So here's 2015 in quirky conversations (mostly fledgling memories that left an impression long enough to be scribbled on a notepad or on Facebook) with my spiritual guru meets queen of sass. They left me stumped, in splits or just frozen for an inordinate amount of time in a curious puppy expression, wondering did she really just say those things or is it my mommy, wannabe writer's imagination gone too far?

2015 in Memorably Cute and Awkward Conversations With My 3-Year Old Princess

1. Early in the year, I had started understanding the gravity of potty training for Saanvi, when it had finally dawned on me about how simple life can be after your kid discovers the magic toilet bowl. So I took her off diapers. Here's what happened the first day I took her to the playground sans a diaper.
Unfriendly Guy in the Elevator [clearly not engaging in or inviting conversation in any way]: Hmmph.
Saanvi: Helloo Uncle.
Guy in Elevator (Don't know what it is about elevators that makes people put on their best poker face): [Half Smiles]
Saanvi: Aaj maine diaper nahi pehena hai. (I'm not wearing diapers today.)
Guy in Elevator [doubletakes]: Huh?
Saanvi [louder]: Aaj maine diaper nahi pehena hai.

Hiding my face.

2. Just about the time she had started developing an unnatural fondness to Halloween:
Aunty in the playground [going round asking every kid]: Sweetie, what do YOU want to be when you grow up?
Saanvi: Umm, can I be a vampire?
Aunty [looking at me with burning judgement]: Haha...How did she come up with that?
Me [scarlet]: Yea, whatever happened to doctors and pilots right?
Saanvi: I can be a zombie. I like zombies.

3. You know how, when you follow fashion blogs, you want to embrace one of those new fashion fads that could potentially look outrageous to everybody else? No? K, just me then.
Me [excited to wear my new fringed jacket but appraising my profile with a raised eyebrow to the mirror]: How does this look?
Sumit [trying to say something diplomatic and husbandy]: Umm...isn't it a little too much?
Me [launching into an irrational argument]: But I never get to wear these kind of clothes!
Saanvi [entering the room]: Oh mommy, you're a jellyfish.. I want to be a jellyfish too.

OK, problem solved.

Move Over Duck Face

4. Like all moms and dads, we personally screened all the cartoon videos that Saanvi gets to watch and among them, Charlie and Lola was my favourite. Well, until one day:
Me [with a plate of food of Saanvi's regular go-tos: roti, dal, subzi, shrikhand]: Saanvi, food's ready.
Saanvi [pointing to carrots in the veggies]: What's this?
Me: Naatak nahi karo. It's a carrot.
Saanvi: I will NEVER, not ever eat carrots
Me [Aila, ab ye kya naya but too tired to argue]: OK, I'll give you only aloo.
Saanvi: I will NEVER, not ever eat aloo. No potaytoes. (In a brit accent.)
And that went on for a while...
Me [cursing under my breath]: Lolaaaa, teri....

5. Saanvi started getting oh-so-neighborly and visiting the neighbors a little too much for our liking. So she insisted one day to spend the day there after having broken the curfew at their place the previous day and I was about to lose it and yell at her in my standard high-pitched voice, "You're not going anywhere. You can cry all you want." But Sumit, the rational, marshmallows-interior dad steps in and takes me to the side and says, "Let me deal with it."
Saanvi: But I want to go to Saloni di's house.
Sumit: Look Saanvi, you've been going there everyday and it's not nice. Let Saloni di call you. She'll be busy.
Saanvi: But I will go only for five minutes.
Me: [uggh...this could go on. Let me take a shower]
After fifteen minutes:
Saanvi [crying]: But I want to go to Saloni di's house. I will not disturb her.
Sumit: But we just went over this. You have to let her call you.
Me: [ OK, I'll go cook lunch till then.]
After half an hour:
Saanvi: I want to go to the temple with Saloni di's dad.
Sumit: Saanvi, you're a good girl. OK here are your options. You play with your toys now and then in the evening, I'll take you to the temple. Or you can go to her house and stay there.
Saanvi: But I want to go to Saloni di's house.

Hell hath no fury like a three-year old with a stubborn streak.

Welcome to my show!

6. As I've already mentioned and I need that comforting reaffirmation of being on the divine path of spirituality and fitness, I started doing yoga! While trying a really complicated yoga pose (for me anyway) and looking more like I got electrocuted on the wall as opposed to the half-moon I was going for, I hear Saanvi giggle in the background.
Me: Oh ya! Why don't you also try it?
Saanvi [rolling her eyes]: Main to already hundred times school mein spiderman ban chuki hun. Translation: I've already posed as spiderman like a hundred times at school.

Hmm, not as funny in English.

7. We discovered the joy of bedtime reading and it doesn't matter how long the story is, Saanvi is a rapt listener. We curl up in bed together and switch from classic tales with a twist like Rapunzel and her Ever So Shiny Locks to Enid Blyton's Bedtime Stories to pictorial books, the works you know. But just the other day, Saanvi discovered a running theme. And a deeply unsettling observation.
Me [reciting Rapunzel]: "She was jealous of all their friends. For the first time in her life, Rapunzel felt lonely."
Saanvi [interrupting]: Why is she lonely?
Me: Well, she doesn't have any friends.
Saanvi: Like Anna? (Anna is this sad character in an Enid Blyton story who wants her doll to come to life cos she doesn't have any siblings or friends.)
Me [anticipating her next words to be the likes of wanting a baby brother or sister]: Yea sort of like Anna.
Saanvi [looking dejected]: Everybody is lonely sometimes.

That got me misty-eyed and sniffly.

What We Do Best

8. In that little space between being a mom and being a girl craving alone time with soul sisters, you've gotta make amends and take your kids along to your girl dates. And pray that your kid is well-behaved.
Me: Rant, rant, gossip, rant rant...
Friend: I hear ya sister. Gossip, rant, rant...
Saanvi [taking her scheme of entertainment to the next table with a group of young girls all belonging to a dance troop]: Hello!
After a much-needed one hour of ranting and gossiping and keeping a vigilant watch on Saanvi, who only came to our table to eat bites of cake in between and went back:
Me [ hollering to Saanvi]: Will you get back here now sweetie?  It's time to go.
Saanvi [to the group of dancers] [animated laughter in the background]: OK, I'm going now. I'll meet you here Wednesday.

Did she fix a date with her new pals? And that's how instant and obvious making friends is for her. Lesson Learnt: Adults are just a bunch of picky prudes.

9. How to give compliments in disguise:
Saanvi [applying talc all over her nana's Santa Claus chest and grunting]: Uggh...oh. This is hard work.
Nana: Very good Saanvi. Thank you!
Saanvi: Nana, jab mai baby thi, to meri bhi tummy golu thi. [Translation: I had a round belly like yours when I was a baby.]

10. Getting to school late:
Teacher [to Saanvi, but obviously directing her cross remark at me]: And you're late again Saanvi!
Saanvi [dramatically swaying her hands in despair]:  But Papa is always getting up late.
Teacher: Errr...mummy drops you to school, right?
Saanvi [missing the connection or strategically showing her dad in a worse light]: But papa is always getting up late. He sleeps late. He gets up late. He's a bad boy!

Nice save, Saanvi!

11. On getting money from her grandpa, Saanvi comes rushing to me:
Saanvi: Mummy, mummy!
Me: OK, what did you spill now?
Saanvi [handing me the money]: Yeh lo, meri shaadi ke liye. (Here, save it for my wedding.)

Only if we had some tragic background from Les Miserables to match.

12. Me [to Saanvi]: God, why are you growing so quickly? Please. Stay a baby.
Saanvi [diverting all her attention to my new-found inches from my brand new high-heels] But my head is not growing like your head, mommy. Why doesn't it grow?

Umm. Of all the things that are growing, definitely not my head, hon.

Radha In All Her Antics

Some of these conversations really had me wondering about the darndest things kids can say. Well, here's to 2016 and all the funny, quizzical moments with my girl I can only anticipate for in mixed feelings of awe and dread.

Would love to hear from you about your funny conversations with your little ones. Do share in your comments below.

Remember the Time - The 2010s Special :)

It's a funny time we live in. I look at my three-year old daughter and she's already surfing you tube for Peppa Pig by seasons and episodes. I type keywords for her to get to her source of five-minute undivided attention. One swipe of finger and lo behold, the world of short cartoon snippets and DIY playdough projects is unveiling before her. (Who has the time and attention span for the classic half-hour episode now, right?)

And I can only gasp and wonder what this generation will be all about. It'll be radically different from the world we grew up in, no doubt. As I wait for the slow miracle of water-heating in my bath, I catch her lounging on the couch, seemingly engrossed in saving the world from her phone.

I briefy lay down with her and look at the view from her eyes. (Oh but first we take a selfie.)

I see a kid whose vision and curiosity for learning is instantly gratified, thanks to magic crystal ball-like gadgets, assuring her of a less than ten-second waiting time. Hmm...no wonder then that patience has died a sorry death in the waiting line of virtues to be recognized by the 2010s born, or the Alpha generation.

The Daddy Dearest Selfie

Back in the day, when we were little—oh yes, I'm already saying these things—remember how electronic gadgets still had that exotic bird sheen and were completely off-limits? And you couldn't even rewind a videotape without supervision and when you were finally allowed to talk on the pricey cordless phone, you kept doing that goofy, enraptured hop to see how far your cordless phone would get reception outside your home? So of course it's still unimaginable to me that a three-year old can use my phone with an air of authority, talk to her grandparents at length, knowing fully well which window she needs to lean on to get network. She switches channels on TV, surfs youtube and dictates on-point wardrobe choices based on her whims and fancies. And she's already expanding her working vocabulary with an occasional  heavy-word shocker like "frustrated" and "tepid". And if I raise my eyebrow, she always has one retort. "Caillou says it." Psstt...[Caillou is an annoying cartoon character who makes me want to smack my phone to pieces every time he speaks in his whiny voice.]

Ok, not to say that our childhood didn't have any 'OMG, really" edges of its own. Sure, we didn't have Skype chats and virtual reality. We grew up playing the same games as our older siblings even though they were all about mass-homicide and getting pulped to death for no damn reason. (Umm...what else did you think happened to Mario every single time?) Coming from the age of free-range childhood when our parents really had no geo-tags telling them where we were all day, I can already see that there are some things that our kids could never claim to have that we did.

Like Goldspot. (Remember how good that was?) Like making pen-pals from another country and losing touch abruptly and wondering whatever the hell happened to them. Like getting blisters on your hands and feet from playing in the heat in the dead of afternoon without so much as a dime-size portion of sunscreen and day-time mosquito repellents to save you from radiation and dengue. Also, remember playing with a bunch of kids and bringing them home for snacks without even knowing their names? Best days ever.

Even then, I'm halfway through this decade and doing more double-takes on the antics, quick wit and observation power of my three-year old daughter than the number of times my dad threw his hands in despair at our practical jokes. His favorite lines were "Kya hoga tum logo ka" and the house-favorite "Apne bade bhai behen se kuch seekho". In my dad's defense, we were his second batch of kids and naturally his proclivity for dealing with our shit had deterred in quality, kinda like the latter seasons of Full House.

All these yesteryear reminiscences has got me thinking about how the children of 2010 — sounds almost as menacing as the children of the damned —  or the alpha generation, would recall their childhood.

So I thought I'll go ahead and create a list that stereotype a kid (and a parent) from this decade, one which Saanvi can read some day in the future and LOL at. But she'll probably say, "Mom, why couldn't you just use memes instead? Yea, I really have a lot of spare time.

Hey, remember the time:

1. "We played football all through recess...in the rain! And remember how you loved sneaking up behind me to splash mud balls at me. And then we forgot all about the game and just kicked mud at each other! Man we'd be so ewww if we were playing for real. Maxim Knightnemesis is still showering dude!"

2."Mom invited you for lunch and she had this epic menu planned out. But she kept torturing us by making us click pictures of tomatoes and some gluten-free crap. When we finally got to eat, after clicking a selfie with our little portions of pretty food, we figured there was no salt and the pretty goat cheese was pretty prett-ay stinky! So we ate take-out pizza instead, but pictures of our happy faces drooling all over little plates of food made it to Mom's instagram with hashtags #foodpornforkids and #theywipeditclean.

3. "We were forced to read the classics so we got hold of one of those travel-around-the-world books that sound exciting. Moby Dick, right? He lost me at Massachusetts dude... I mean who in God’s name refers to their friends as chums? Ewww... And why does everything have to be symbolic? Uggh...Bottom line: You should totally read a book by its cover. (The book jacket was f-in' dull and dated!)

4."We went on a roadtrip and dad gave us this whole long speech on how we have no taste of adventure cos we've never been lost. So he shut the GPS lady and off we went. And then he kept asking people for directions, and once we came round to ask the same guy twice and he said, "Dude, don't you have GPS?" I still don't get the point. But going on that isolated trail with a dead end was so badass!"

5. "Oh we were planning my ninth birthday and mum said she was out of themes. We'd already done superheroes, avatar, jungle book, the underwater thing, cars and everything. So mom said, "You know we really didn't have any themes when we were growing up." And bam, I got my next theme! It was the 90s. Everyone dressed up in tacky clothes with shoulder pads and dorky hairstyles and listened to awful music that we couldn't stop humming in class the next day. It was epic! Well for everyone except mom who wasn't too pleased about having to bake a cake by herself and cook all the food. How else would it be convincing, no?"

6.

"I think I was seven and we were at the airport waiting to board a flight to Bangkok. I went to get myself some water and saw a friend's dad from school and we started talking. He bought some cake for Sasha, who was waiting at another corner. I was about to walk up to Sasha with him holding my hand and leading the way when mom jumped out of nowhere and started yelling at my friend's dad on top of her voice. She talked fast berating me for walking off with Sasha's dad, who was a stranger to her. After she was done recapping all the horrifying viral videos she'd seen on social media thereby establishing Sasha's dad was a perv who'd spiked my cake, I told her in a soft voice, "Mom, you remember Sasha?  Sasha's dad." And then I watched her face go from white to red in under ten secs. Weird mom alert!"

7. "We went to a cousin's for a week and they didn't have Netflix and our laptops and iPads were off-limits. And by the time we got back, we were lagging behind eight episodes of GoT and when we got back to school, everyone started giving away spoilers, like really meaty ones involving Jon Snow.  That's a week of my life wasted watching commercials and women in Halloween costumes! I can't even...."

8. We were having a party at a friend's place and somebody sneaked in alcohol. We were 12 then. Neel's mom got home before time and complained to everyone's parents that we were drinking. We were all collectively grounded for two weeks, cut off from our cellphones so no whatsapp, insta and FB. On the fourth day, Neel got hold of his iPad from his dad's room and created a petition on FB to explain the situation and how we've been unfairly punished. And somebody shared that petition on his dad's wall saying "Please share if you agree that these poor victims of circumstance should be un-grounded!" Ofcourse, Neel was grounded for a whole month after that. But his petition got over 3000 likes!

9."We went through different selfie obsessions - one with the duckface in different places - at a coffee shop, at the gym, in the closet. And then we shot the duckfaces (cos they were stupid) and moved on to moustaches. And then we started cloning ourselves. What would be without our selfies?  Apple pie selfie. Bae selfie. Cute streetdog selfie. (It bit me later so more like an ouchie.) Selfie's selfie. One time, I felt I'd had enough. I mean what's the point right? Look at me. I'm so cute even when I'm hideous! But I decided to take one anyway. It was the existential crisis selfie dude. Cos life's a selfie! Ooh that should be my next caption. "

10.

"Oh and we were chatting and you said something cheesy...and I really don't remember what. But I remember looking for the cheese emoji and spending the next five minutes looking for it and when I couldn't find it, I googled about it. I even tweeted to get answers.  But whoah! There's no cheese emoji dude!"



Got any fun "Remember the time" to add to the list? Be my guest and write below :).

Moveable Feasts - In Paperback

Cooking gives me great joy. So does reading. No wonder then that I have always found an odd sort of comfort in reading about food descriptions in novels, as a kid and now as an experimental home-cook. I can still feel the hunger pangs of little Heidi when she came to live with her grandpa and she can't help gushing over a slab of cheese that he fire-roasts till it was sun-kissed golden. Or even Cassandra's undying lust for fresh bread and eggs that make them seem as indulgent as caviar in I Capture the Castle. Or who can forget that abundant start-of-term feast in the Harry Potter series prepared with nothing but good imagination and a flicker of a wand? I'd give anything for a seven-course meal to conjure from thin air like that!

For a burgeoning cook like myself, I can spend hours reading blogs and stories about food, mesmerized by the pictures and the underlying stories that get brewed alongside every author's personal concoction of happiness.

Food has a way to evoke any powerful and potent feeling that you've ever felt consumed by.

Nostalgia. Remember that stash of your favorite desi ghee laddoos that mum made before Diwali, and then tucked them away onto the topmost shelf out of your reach? And you stood there looking at them pitifully, whimpering like a hungry pup...well until you devised an awkward tower of chairs that'll reunite you with your beloved. 

Infatuation. That desperation and hope and the urge to win over somebody's affection...with every artifice known to man/woman...with expensive dresses and make-up and arty-farty talk and exotic dinners. And you'd do anything for it. But hey have you craved for a slice of chocolate mud cake, post midnight, when even elves are too busy sleeping to oblige you? Nothing else could incite a similar feeling of despair, I'd say!

So without furthur ado, I present to you these epic, mouthwatering word feasts collected from my favorite novels. Hope you're hungry.

Disclaimer: You may be an epitome of self-restraint with your 'Keep calm and ignore junk food' posters and herbal-tea diets but these forbidden fruits will have you wanting to eat out of, uh well, any hand that offers them :).

1. Charlie and The Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

"Mr Willy Wonka can make marshmallows that taste of violets, and rich caramels that change colour every ten seconds as you suck them, and little feathery sweets that melt away deliciously the moment you put them between your lips. He can make chewing-gum that never loses its taste, and sugar balloons that you can blow up to enormous sizes before you pop them with a pin and gobble them up. And, by a most secret method, he can make lovely blue birds' eggs with black spots on them, and when you put one of these in your mouth, it gradually gets smaller and smaller until suddenly there is nothing left except a tiny little DARK RED sugary baby bird sitting on the tip of your tongue."

And you can sure count on Mr. Dahl to make the most absurd fantasy seem real and accessible. This sugary baby bird is something that, I can vouch, will catch the fancy of the purest of puritans (as well as dentists.)

2. To the Lighthouse - Virginia Woolf

“An exquisite scent of olives and oil and juice rose from the great brown dish as Marthe, with a little flourish took the cover off. The cook had spent three days over that dish and she must take great care, Mrs. Ramsay thought, diving into the soft mass to choose an especially tender piece for William Bankes. And she peered into the dish, with its shiny walls and its confusion of savory brown and yellow meats, and its bay leaves and its wine and thought, "This will celebrate the occasion…”

The delicacy in reference is the famous boeufe en daube. As intimidating as the name may sound, Ms Woolfe went to great lengths to marinate this beef stew with words that melt in your mouth. Ironic isn't it that she had to battle with food nearly all throughout her life and even her generous words failed to coax her to succumb?

3. Like Water for Chocolate - Laura Esquivel

"When nobody eats the last chile on the plate, it's usually because none of them wants to look like a glutton, so even though they'd really like to devour it, they don't have the nerve to take it. It was as if they were rejecting that stuffed pepper, which contains every imaginable flavor; sweet as candied citron, juicy as pomegranate, with the bit of pepper and the subtlety of walnuts, that marvelous chile in the walnut sauce. Within it lies the secret of love, but it will never be penetrated, and all because it wouldn't feel proper."

Like Water for Chocolate is a book that'll make you either very hungry or...well the other thing...

Either way, it will have you craving.

4. Five Go Down to The Sea - Enid Blyton

"The high tea that awaited them was truly magnificent. A huge ham gleaming as pink as Timmy’s tongue; a salad fit for a king. In fact, as Dick said, fit for several kings, it was so enormous. It had in it everything that anyone could possibly want. “Lettuce, tomatoes, onions, radishes, mustard and cress, carrot grated up – that is carrot, isn’t it, Mrs. Penruthlan?” said Dick. “And lashings of hard-boiled eggs.” There was an enormous tureen of new potatoes, all gleaming with melted butter, scattered with parsley. There was a big bottle of home-made salad cream. “Look at that cream cheese, too,” marveled Dick, quite overcome. “And that fruit cake. And are those drop-scones, or what? Are we supposed to have something of everything, Mrs Penruthlan?”

The only 'proper' way to celebrate this high tea menu is to have Julia Childs read it out to you. Only if life were an Enid Blyton picnic.

5. Chocolat - Joane Harris

“I select a dark nugget from a tray marked Eastern journey. Crystallized ginger in a hard sugar shell, releasing a mouthful of liqueur like a concentration of spices, a breath of aromatic air where sandalwood and cinnamon and lime vie for attention with cedar and allspice."
"I take another, from a tray marked Peche au miel millefleurs. A slice of peach steeped in honey and eau-de-vie, a crystallized peach sliver on the chocolate lid."

Oh woman, JUST stop there. Don't disturb the peace in my cavities, will ya? But if truffles and marzipan birds and "long twisted marshmallows that dangle from the stalls of sweet-vendors on carnival days" are your thing, get this book!

6. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone - J.K. Rowling

"He had never seen so many things he liked to eat on one table: roast beef, roast chicken, pork chops and lamb chops, sausages, bacon and steak, boiled potatoes, roast potatoes, fries, Yorkshire pudding, peas, carrots, gravy, ketchup, and, for some strange reason, peppermint humbugs."

I don't get it. All that she did was list down different kinds of food, half of which I don't even care for. But I'm ravenous!

7. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens

"Mrs. Cratchit made the gravy (ready before­hand in a little saucepan) hissing hot; Master Peter mashed the potatoes with incredible vigour; Miss Belinda sweetened up the apple-sauce; Martha dusted the hot plates; Bob took Tiny Tim beside him in a tiny corner at the table; the two young Cratchits set chairs for everybody, not forgetting themselves, and mounting guard upon their posts, crammed spoons into their mouths, lest they should shriek for goose before their turn came to be helped. At last the dishes were set on, and grace was said. It was succeeded by a breathless pause, as Mrs. Cratchit, looking slowly all along the carving-knife, prepared to plunge it in the breast; but when she did, and when the long expected gush of stuffing issued forth, one murmur of delight arose all round the board, and even Tiny Tim, excited by the two young Cratchits, beat on the table with the handle of his knife, and feebly cried Hurrah !"

Oh, forget the grace Timmy! How can you not dive in mouth-first.

8. A Moveable Feast - Ernest Hemingway

"As I ate the oysters with their strong taste of the sea and their faint metallic taste that the cold white wine washed away, leaving only the sea taste and the succulent texture, and as I drank their cold liquid from each shell and washed it down with the crisp taste of the wine, I lost the empty feeling and began to be happy and to make plans."

And if anybody's looking for scientific evidence that oysters are a gloriously happy food, that's IT.


Got any literary food cravings? I'd love to hear from you.

Saving Christmas - With Melting Moments

Grand Confession: I have a formidable attachment to Christmas.

It can be traced back to my rose-tinted childhood, even though we weren't much of those open-minded, all-embracing families that celebrate all major festivals with pomp and glitter. I guess it has something to do with my catholic schooling, where the teachers went out of the way to stress upon the true meaning of Christmas - the birth of Christ, not getting presents for being good kids for that week. What, no presents? But that didn't bother us much 'cos we were constantly surrounded by music, tinsel and ornament throughout December. I guess my personal contributions to brightening xmas weren't much to brag about. I was complicit of singing off-key in the choir and ruining the sombre, velvety magic of xmas carols for everyone. I also remained largely stony-faced in the auditions for the three wise men.  But that didn't stop me from enjoying the nativity scene enacted the way it should be alongside extravagant feast and amusement. Those guys. They really did put the Christ back in Christmas.

Then there was college.  I stumbled upon Xmas again with a motley crew of girls, two of them being my BFFs at the time.

Although, I don't quite recollect doing many xmas-like things. In fact, I'm pretty sure the traditional xmas got pretty much eschewed by the end of it.  But we were pretty much rhapsodic about being silly and ambitious and experimental (only food and drink wise). I can't really recollect much of that epic night but an unforeseen splurge of green later, everyone declared their undying love for one another and we all made an oath that the Xmas tradition must continue to live on. And  it sure did. It only got more awesome and traditional, atleast food-wise, with my best friend, Hedge, making her special brandy-soaked christmas cake, all of butter, eggs, syrupy fruits and booze.  Light, zesty and flawless. You can't get more festive than that, right? Oh, she even performed a flambe with the lights turned down and it looked spectacular; nothing short of fireworks.

That night- before the crazies crept in

Which brings me to food...the glorious food of Xmas. Delicious treats loom over my memory above anything else. The promise of a scrumptious Xmas-themed platter and decadent desserts to take home dragged me to awkward lunches with mere acquaintances, hoping that holiday spirit and the saving grace of stuffing syrupy goodnesses in your mouth will prevail over forced laughters and pseudo-intellectual conversations. Glazing roast platters, creamy mashed potatoes, drunken cakes and cookies... Sometimes with people who know you, who get you - well, that's the cherry on the top, ain't it?

Image Source: Pinterest

On the flip, I realized I hadn't made any personal contributions to add magic to this joyous day. Well, until last year. The mom in me sort of woke up to the fact that I better get started with recreating the potent, feel-good, "can't help smiling to myself" aura of this day for my daughter, who incidentally, is now old enough to ask me who Santa is and to sit me down and explain how she has been a good girl this year and that Santa will sneak in a cute lil gift under her plushy pillow. She so loves making prophecies of that kind from time to time.

But here's a teeny tiny bump. I'm not much of a baker. Clearly, I lack that methodical attention-to-detail that baking just constrains upon you. So I thought of going native...Like absolute strip-the-frills, Baking Moms 101 kinda stuff. Things that I can probably package as intelligent, artsy cooking and get my kid to eat them too.

And that's when I chanced upon these floaty, melt-in-your-mouth, exotic bursts of confectionery that you can't stop yourself from popping in your mouth...like every 10 seconds...cos they dissolve pretty quick. I made them for Saanvi...and she couldn't get enough. Well, I can only hope that one day I can hover from above while she's penning down about these conspicuous pieces of heaven.

OK, enough bragging. I'd love to claim that I came up with this on my own. But I guess I've already established I'm a novice. Here and here.

So this is me rejoicing in some innocuous knowledge-sharing. Find your own effortless concoction of nostalgic holiday delights below:

http://www.taste.com.au/recipes/19011/melting+moments

I've gotta say, I did bring in a delightful twist to these virgin mini-delights. Considering it was Xmas, I was looking for a bit of rouge in the filling. I made two variations: Strawberry-Orange and Raspberry Cheese Buttercream.

Here are the recipes to the variations in filling that you can venture out to sandwich your cookies with. Sure does add color and festivity to your Christmas-themed fare...

Strawberry-Orange Filling:
What You Need:
75 gms Unsalted Butter
1 cup Icing Sugar
I tablespoon finely grated Orange Rind
1 tablespoon  Fresh Strawberry Pulp
4 drops Strawberry Essence

Method:

• Beat the butter and icing sugar using an electric blender till light and fluffy.  
• Add the orange rind, strawberry pulp and essence till combined pink. 
• Sandwich this filling onto your cookies.

Raspberry Cheese Buttercream:
What you Need:
60 gms Unsalted Butter
1 Cup Icing Sugar
75 gms Cream Cheese
2 tablespoons Raspberry Jam
A few drops of Red Food Coloring
A little lukewarm water

Method:

• Beat the butter in an electric hand blender until smooth. 
• With the motor running, add sugar, 1/2 cup at a time, adding the next only until the first lot has been absorbed.
• Stop running the mixer after the icing sugar is combined. Add cream cheese. Hurl it back on on a medium setting.
• Now add the raspberry jam and a little water and blend it till its light and fluffy.
• Using a toothpick, add red food coloring till it reaches the desired color.
• Sandwich it onto your cookies.

 I hope to continue to spread the joy through more words. But it is a long day tomorrow. Meanwhile, I hope that you get busy with trying out these delectable melting moments for yourself.

Happy Holidays you guys! And Bon Appetit! (And don't forget to pack your roomy flannel pants.)

Shirt Up!

If I were to pick one style statement from the streets of all fashion capitals and freeze it right there....in that moment...whether it is soaking up the warm steam of a coffee mug at an open cafe, getting ruffled to find a spot inside a busy night club, or bringing out the peachy blush of a first date, it's gotta be the versatile and deceitfully playful shirt dress. It's an all-time classic, understated and silent, and yet when you don't see it catwalking down the runway, it leaves you edging off your seat and wondering whatever happened to it.

But this feat of clever fashion is not just a cool, boyfriend-hacked, nonchalant piece of clothing. Sure, all it asks for is a good laundry before slipping it on, to splash on all over your travel diaries and day dates in places where a dress code's non-existent . But I think it's a bit crafty; it lends itself effortlessly to new meanings...It's the stepping stone of a Tomboy into embracing her feminine side. Yea, just like wearing a shirt, only longer and no pants. It's a saving grace for a new mum nursing her baby; she can occasionally come up for air to feel sexy and confident, after a long-stretched period of being drowned in her oversized maternity clothes. And what more, it's so accessible that it goes with everything. It's sort of like a cool cat with many trendy reincarnations.  (Well, probably not as many as the fashion faux-pas of the Kardashian sisters.)

My love with the shirt dress began as a 13-year old, when dressing up like my own gender was equivalent to going to a costume party. But then one day, I went shopping with a friend to one of those dingy, disorganized places that everyone raves about but where when you go looking, you only find clothes that smell like death and give you a suspicious sort of rash. Fortunately for me, I came across a signature, zippered denim shirt dress. It was the perfect length and fit, and it made me feel feminine in small doses, which was all I could ask for in a dress at that time. As it was the first dress that made me swoon like a little girl,  it only seemed proper I wore it to my first solo travel to Dubai (with another family though). Of course, my dad wasn't as thrilled to bits about it. I distinctly remember him saying out loud, "You forgot to put your pants on" when he saw me in it.... in front of the nice people I was to travel with. I gave him a steely stare and was about to launch into my personal rendition of "Smells Like Teen Spirit"...but instead I smiled. That dress...it already felt like it belonged.

But I know what you're thinking. A shirt dress is breezy and relaxed thus is a staple summer feature. What has it got to do with the moment, considering we're bidding adieu to the monsoons now and inching towards fall/winter. (But hey, who's ever heard of winters in Mumbai, right?)

And this is what I'm here to show you. How this sneaky item of clothing can not only transition from spring to fall but transform itself from a cute girl-next-door to a sharp, austere woman who means business to a seductive Sharon Stone-like demi-goddess.

Here are my top 5 picks,  randomly collected from movies and fashion mags:

1. The Holiday Shirtdress:
I'm in love with Rachel McAdams 80's, Ralph Lauren-inspired, belted shirt dresses in Midnight in Paris. The classic belted shirt dress in crisp natural fabrics like linen, light as summer breeze, couldn't make a day dress look more flattering and fuss-free.
Pair it with flats or wedges, put on a bit of blush (or just pinch your cheeks hard enough) and let your over-sized slouchy hobo do all the drama.

Image Source: Clothesonfilm

2. The Work and Play Shirtdress:
I think this is a great dress to fall upon for one of those days when you've gotta transition from workdesk to cocktail dinner and you don't have the luxury of a change in outfit. A cinched silk shirtdress in a fun, abstract print with a statement belt is flirty and feminine (without causing an unnecessary stir at work, of course).

Image Source: Bestfashionblog

3. The Fancy-Pants Brunch Shirt Dress:
I mean who says a shirt dress has to look like an elongated shirt when you can tweak it with a cascade of swooping under-layers and adorn it with a fierce belt? Style it with nude flats or gladiators and an envelope clutch.

Image Source:Vogue

4. The Shirt Gown:
Isn't it amazing that you can do your own fairy tale thing in a shirt? Opt for a shirt gown in airy fabrics and soft pastels. Feeling adventurous? Add to that a scandalous mid-thigh high cut and you're sure to stop traffic everywhere. (But hey, for the sake of frustrated commuters, please don't try this in Mumbai.)

Image Source: Pernia's Pop-Up Shop

5. The Fall-Summer Shirt Dress:
I mean yes, for places where the temperatures drop a significant amount in fall, the shirt dress is not practical. You can still layer it with sweaters and overcoats, add a snuggly scarf and get your smashing knee-length boots on. But if you happen to live in a place where winter just signifies a change in color palette and silhouettes, then try this one. A simple black or olive drop-waist shirt dress in a fluid fabric such as silk with a plunging neckline and a midi-length. Glam it up with a chunky neckpiece and pointed-toe pumps and voila! You've nailed the science of chic. Nothing spells more oomph and femininity as this one, I say.

Image Source: Elle

Personally, I can't wait to get my hands on the fall-summer shirt dress and the shirt gown as I've pledged undying love for this fabulous invention. I'd like to call it the summer of my life rippling all over fall and winter :).

Memoirs of a Hungry Caterpillar - Fang Fang

I'm always a bit of a nerve-wreck when writing about food. I kinda envision the Goddess of Food to float from above into my messy kitcken, you know Goddess-style, and say, "Foolishness! Thou art no food expert! That Dal Makhani you maketh this eventide....One word...catastrophe!" And then she goes on to invite me for a cook-off with her junior apprentices while the other Gods trash-talk the life out of me....

 [Pinches herself back to reality.]

I mean to say there are so many talented culinary artists out there and I'm just one in the making with a few (Alright, many) inconsistencies to my repertoire. There are days when I can perfectly flip an omelette and watch in narcissistic admiration while its palor embraces marvellously a warm, sun-kissed, perfectly circular form, and other days... well, let's just say it resembles a tan gone horribly wrong, for lack of a better euphemism ...However, I'm a great taster and that's what's served me well in my culinary expedition. In fact, it's kinda like one of my neuroses. It's annoying that I can point out exactly what's missing in a curry everyone finds flawless or what's that magic ingredient that would shroud an unexpected mishap.Yea, bit of a genius there!

And here's what happened the other day. For my birthday, we went out for some outrageously expensive Chinese food at one of the Michelin-starred restaurants that everyone's been raving about. The ambiance was to die for! While I loved the food and paid the chef my compliments and everything, during dessert, I was, rather unexpectedly, shoved inside a time capsule only to emerge in one of my most favourite restaurants as a kid.

Fang Fang. It was this upmarket restaurant in Kampala city rendered highly popular by its dainty hostess and owner of the restaurant who hobnobbed with all the creme-de-la-creme of the city. Her glib charm and gracious smile drew people from all over the country. To us, it became something like visiting an aunt.

Of course, my brother and I were kids back then and also notorious for being picky eaters. By some stretch of imagination or maybe just plain instinct, we ordered this delicacy, which was just one of the many crowd-pleasing delights concocted in her magical kitchen. I'm sure. (Errr, we never got on to trying much else.)

Babycorn Stir-fried with Cashewnuts...

Nothing seductive in the title itself. I don't even know if there was a rationale to ordering it. Like did we ask the hostess if she'd say it's nouvelle cuisine? Did we think it had a rich Oriental undercurrent? Or a rare reinterpretation of something classically ubiquitous, perhaps? Oh for God's sake, I was 12! (And Masterchef Australia hadn't made it to TV back then.). Guess it was a gut feeling then. Whatever; from that day on, it was lodged in my mind.

Like a grappling hook.

And this strange visit down the memory lane brought with it that indomitable urge to resurrect it from the corners of my mind. How do I recall it? Crisp, greaseless, airy babycorn tempura mash up with succulent, sweet cashew morsels bathed in a vivid mahogany, subtly spiced, ginger-fragrant sauce. Yup, no pyrotechincs involved here, as is the norm in the Indo-Chinese nuptial of flavor.

And thus began the quest for reliving this warm memory. The end result was prett-ay, prett-ay, pretty good. I took the liberty to jazz it up with my all-time favorite pantry product - fresh basil. We ate it with some egg-fried rice. Sublime!

And if I've managed to pique your curiosity enough, here is the recipe:

(Chef's Note: It goes without saying but remember to use absolutely fresh ingredients. Quite an ordeal if you live in a big city but make the extra effort to hunt it down, beyond your local subziwaalas . I find organic stores to be the best. Fresh ingredients are very important in order to cook up a good Chinese meal)

Babycorn Stir-fried with Cashewnuts in Chilli-Basil Sauce
Serves 2

150 gms babycorn, parboiled and cut into thick circles
75 gms cashew nuts, halved
3-4 fresh red chillies, broken
9-10 fresh basil leaves, torn
1 bunch spring onions, finely chopped (whites and greens separated)
3 fat cloves of Garlic, finely chopped
2-inch ginger, minced
2 tablespoons low-sodium soy sauce
1 tablespoon Ching's red chilli sauce (can also use Hoisin for a sweet-sour taste)
1 tablespoon red wine vinegar
2 teaspoons corn starch
1 tablespoon honey
2 tablespoons peanut oil or vegetable oil
Salt to taste (I used celery salt for flavor)


For the Tempura batter:
100 gms cornflour
150 gms plain flour
10 gms baking powder
Water (Alternatively, you can use iced soda water to get it extra crispy)

Preparation:
I. Babycorn Tempura
1. In a large bowl, whisk together cornflour, plain flour, baking powder and just enough water to get a thick, pancake batter like consistency.
2. Stir in the parboiled babycorn chunks into the batter until well-coated.
3. Heat enough oil in a pan for the babycorn tempura to swim freely in it and get it to a smokey-hot temperature.
4. Flash-fry in the pan for a minute. Scoop it out and remove any excess oil.

II. Honey-Caramelized Cashew Nuts
1. Heat a tablespoon of oil in a pan.
2. Add the cashew nuts and saute them lightly.
3. Pour enough honey over them until the cashews are coated. The coating should be thick and a little sticky.
4. Saute for another 5 minutes over medium flame until the caramelized honey is absorbed.

III. Cornflour Mix:
1. In a small bowl, add cornflour to one and a half cups water. Add salt to taste. (You can also use celery salt as it blends well with the sauce.) Stir till you can no longer feel the cornflour lumps.

Method:
1. Heat a wok or a non-stick iron skillet over high heat. The wok is ready when you put a drop of water into the wok and it evaporates immediately.
2. Add oil in the wok and swirl it around. Now add the spring onion whites, ginger and garlic and stir-fry vigorously for a minute on a high flame.
3. Add the broken red chillies and toss the pan until you see the seeds disperse.
4. Stir in the babycorn tempura and honey-caramelized cashews. Toss them around gently.
5. Now, add to the pan soy sauce, chilli sauce, salt to taste, vinegar and the cornflour mix. Mix well.
6. Stir-fry on medium heat until the sauce thickens.
7. Garnish with torn basil leaves while the pan is still on heat and place the lid over it for a minute. Remove from heat.
8. Serve hot on a bed of egg-fried rice.

Note: This is mildly spiced.  You can fire it up some notches with more chillies to your preference.

Do you have any food memories that have lingered long enough for you to bring them to life? I'd love to hear from you in your comments below :).